Andrea de Michaelis, Publisher
Hello and welcome to the December 2009 edition of Horizons Magazine. This year seems to have flown by. So many things changed recently that I'm not even living the same life I was living a year ago. Hmm, I seem to say that each year but it's true.
Did you ever have an argument with someone and walk away feeling like you weren't sure what just happened? Maybe felt as though the two of you were not having the same conversation? I do readings for a lot of the people I know and so I often hear both sides of a story. I know I don't always experience what the other person experiences. As far as arguing over something that happened, I can tell someone: This is what happened to me. This is how it looks to me and this is what I am reacting to. Please tell me what you experienced. Until I do that, I can't really know.
How can there be so many misunderstandings between people? It's usually because they are not talking and discussing new issues as they naturally come up in life, so they are filling in the blanks and causing their mind to react to sh*t that's not really there. And if they are talking, the words they use don't always mean the same for both.
Then sometimes we purposely don't talk, because we don't want to burst our partner's bubble. My friend Domino is like that. He gets into a series of relationships with women who cater to him and support him and with whom he has the "I think you're the one" talk. Actually, it's usually the women who have the talk and he merely smiles and gives non-responsive rhetoric, and he lets them fill in the blanks.
Don't get me wrong, he likes these women, he enjoys being with them, and he is looking for the one. But he realizes early on that they are not the one. He says nothing because he's enjoys the current living arrangement (each time). He doesn't want to commit, but he isn't ready for anything to change. She cooks him breakfast and dinner, for gosh sakes. She does his laundry and the sex is good. Who wants to jeopardize that?
He doesn't think of it as leading them on, but he's definitely letting them fill in the blanks with things that he has no intention of participating in. He says he's just letting them stay in the mystery a little longer to help fuel their creative visualization. They, on the other hand, always believe he is their fiance.
I say he's limiting himself if he stays with someone he is not absolutely wild about. I say if you know the one you are with is not The One, free them up right away so they can attract The One that can be wild about them, someone they can find actual love and joy with.
Don't phone it in. Don't let your partner fill in the blanks.
Be there or be gone, leaving you both available for the next joy to come.
I've written a lot about relationship at www.horizonsmagazine.com/blog/ - simply type the search word "relationship" or "dating" in the SEARCH box and it will show you all the related posts.
Enjoy our offering this month.
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