Andrea de Michaelis, Publisher
Hello and welcome to the September 2009 issue of Horizons Magazine. I got a neat email from someone the other day. She writes: I read your Facebook blogs in addition to your Horizons monthly article and I admire your life. May I ask you an intensely personal question�are you in a relationship? I ask because there is no indication that you are and if not, you seem supremely happy with your life the way it is. And I would like my life to be as content as yours seems to be. You seem to have found the key. Relationship or not.
Facebook friend Valerie Sauer said: Andrea, that's one of the things that I admire about you. You're clearly and unapologetically single, and I've never gotten the vibe from you that you're unhappy with your status. You exude total contentment with every word you write. You are proof that single and lonely are completely unrelated states.
I told her I think it's like when you retire and find so many things to do that you wonder how you ever had time for a job. I have so many fulfilling relationships with friends and family that I can't imagine feeling any more in love if it was focused upon one person. In fact, that's been one of my issues in the past. When I've gotten into relationships, my tendency historically had been to saturate myself completely in the boyfriend, and then I don't feel like doing any work. All I want to do is play with the new man until the infatuation ends or we burn it out or got married.
When I stopped doing that, I realized I had tons of time and incentive to do the work I do. And the deeper I get into my work - which is my mission as well - the happier and more content with my life I become. Also the less likely to initiate change. You know, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. My man would have to be really happy without me a lot unless he was in the work with me. I figure some day he'll fall into my lap. Or not. Either way, I win.
I don't know if it's because I spent so much time being picked on by bratty brothers and their friends, but I have always enjoyed doing things on my own. Even from my 20's, I enjoyed having a meal alone, going to the gym alone, racquetball so I didn't have to drum up a partner, running, biking, dancing, drumming, yoga, meditation, writing, all solitary activities.
If you've ever played solo racquetball, you become aware of what relationship is. You have a relationship with the racquet, with the ball, with the four walls, with the floor, with the ceiling. You have a relationship with time, as you execute each shot so the ball bounces but once before you connect again. Relationship is all about getting into that flow, and becoming sensitive to the responses of whoever and whatever you are interacting with. You go with the flow and dance the cosmic dance with whatever is in front of you. That's not always a person, but it's still a relationship.
I have deep relationships with my two cats, with my Toyota Prius and with my Sonicare toothbrush. I have deep relationships with the oaks and pine on my property; with the mulberry and loquat trees and the bamboo. I can feel them interact with me when I am out among them. I feel a relationship with the orange as I peel it and the pineapple, and to the bread I toast, and to the toaster oven. I feel akin to the squirrels and birds I feed, and the raccoons, armadillos and opposums that I don't feed. I feel connected to every blade of grass I mow and, of course, believer in reincarnation that I am, the metaphor of the mulching lawnmower is not lost on me. I know each cut blade is delighted to return to the soil, eager for its next adventure. And so am I. In the meantime, in the words of that great guru David Bowie - Let's Dance.
"Remember, your personal success, and your prosperity are not in the hands of some "fickle finger of fate" nor are they determined by sudden changes in the economy. The answer is in your conditioned ability to form and shape the ever-present substance of the Universe. There is just no way around it: your fortune (good or bad) begins with you. Financial crises, even recessions or depressions, so far as they affect your pocketbook or bank account or job stability, begin with your reactions of faith or fear. You do not cause economic conditions, though we all share in the cumulative consciousness that is the cause; but if you give them reality by your negative thoughts or conversations about them, you become synchronized with an energy flow which has as swift an influence on your life as the light that bathes the room when you throw the switch."
These daily storms we've been having let the pressure off, so celebrate them. I do. The years we've gotten the strongest hurricane hits, we've had unseasonable weather and no summer storms to mitigate it. No so this year. Lotsa daily storms = no big buildup for surprise hurricanes during the season. It is really as simple as that. Our personal storms are like that also. We can either feed them with hasty actions and reactions based on the vibrational stance of those who are freaking out around us, or we can keep conflict at bay by being mindful and following our own guidance system, no matter what is happening, no matter what anyone else is saying.
It's true that our perceptions create our personal reality, that how we choose to look at the world determines what kind of world we will live in. And two people living under the same roof can live in very different worlds. One of them can believe we are all at the mercy of Fate, and the other can believe we each create our own reality.
Even for those of us who believe we create our own reality, there is one concept that most just can't seem to get. They think if they ponder and dream on what they want, that what they want should just come of its own accord. They don't realize that what they do and how they think and what they say in all other areas of their lives impacts the creation process as well.
You can't hate your boss and criticize your co-workers and expect to find your dream job - it's all related. You can't ignore your mother and be fighting with your sister and expect to draw in your perfect mate - it's all related. If you watch the news and get aggravated by it, that's impacting your creation process. If you listen to politicians and think anyone is unethical, that impacts your creation process. If your boss is unreasonable and rude, and you have any emotional reaction of discontent or dislike toward him on a regular basis, that definitely impacts your creation process. And not just in the area of career and income. It impacts it in all other areas. Even areas you don't think you have resistance in.
In my experience, that's where I find most people get hung up. They don't get that it's all related. They don't get that they've already done all the daydreaming and pre-paving of their creation, the Universe is just waiting for them to release their resistance and allow their creation to come to them. It's way more important to release resistance than it is to visualize what you want your outcome to be. It took me years to learn that. It took me years after hearing it so well said by Abraham-Hicks in the late 80's to release resistance I didn't know I had, or to even understand there was a process I could do to discover where I had resistance and a process to release it.
For me, the key was when Abraham-Hicks said - remember no one else was talking about this back in the 80's - that every subject is 2 subjects: that which we want and the lack of it, and we're either focused on one or the other. I'd never heard that concept before and it changed the way I saw everything after that. We can always tell what we've been focusing on, because it shows up in our lives. It shows up in our relationships with others, it shows up in what kind of job we have and how much money we make and the state of our health and happiness.
If you and your husband are in business together, how you feel about him affects your business and affects your income. How he feels about you affects your business and affects your income. You can't think about and treat your partner one way and expect the Universe to deliver to you anything other than what you're sending out. And only one of you has to change how you think and feel about the other in order to effect a change in the outcome. And a change in the income.
This is where we can fully realize the power of the Now: by choosing in this moment right now to quiet our personal storms and release any old baggage we have with whoever is the closest to us; whoever we have to see every day and who has been in our life for the most years. Forget everything that has ever happened between you in the past. Stop bringing to mind all past transgressions.
When he pushes your buttons and a past memory comes up, make a choice to turn your thoughts around right then. Bring to mind the things he does that you love. Bring to mind all the good reasons you are together and how much fun you have when things are going well. That's how best to use the power of the Now: to dissipate old baggage and transform the Now moment into an enjoyable, delicious time for you and everyone around you. No matter what storms might appear to be raging around you.
And, in the Now, don't be worrying about what the news tells you about the economy or the storms brewing in the Atlantic. This too shall pass. Be prepared, but be in the moment with it all. Look around you right now, in this moment, and take inventory of everything that is going right in your life. Storms will come and go, but we can get through them, it's just a cycle.
And it's good to know ahead of time that this can be an easy hurricane season. So breathe a sign of relief and get onto your next good thing.
Enjoy our issue this month. Hari OM
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