Hello and welcome to the June 2007 edition of Horizons Magazine.  Wow, it’s June already and the weather has just now begun to get warm.  This is when I love living in Florida.  As long as the weather stays cool until mid April, I’m thrilled because that means we got 6 months of not hot, not humid weather.  Anything more than that is a bonus!  Plus, remember that also means we will have an easy hurricane season.  That’s one thing the weather forecasters fail to mention when they are talking about every storm that blips onto their screen.
 I never cared for Indian food until recently.  I spent off and on in my 20’s and 30’s living in an ashram with a monastic group and Indian food was the order of the day.  I found it not to my liking and thereafter avoided it.  Then last year while attending the Pranic Healing Workshop in Orlando, I was invited to lunch with Master Steven Co and his group.  Tom Park asked if I liked Indian food, since they were going to an Indian buffet.  I inwardly cringed and outwardly smiled and said ‘Yes, I’d love that.”  To my delight, I found there were many dishes I loved, and they tasted nothing like I remember “Indian food” tasting.  So flavorful and so many vegetarian choices.  I now go several times a month to the lunch buffet at Taste of India here in Melbourne.

 In my new search for low fat, high flavor meal choices, I’ve been studying up on Indian food and trying out some recipes.  The spices are very unfamiliar to me.  I am not only learning their names, but how to use them.  I am realizing the more creamy dishes contain yoghurt or cream, which I don’t care for.  I am anxious to learn more.  I found a website with good info at www.food-india.com.

 I’ve had to buy a whole set of spices unfamiliar to me: coriander seeds, cumin seeds, coriander powder, cardamom seeds and powder, turmeric, garam masala.  I’ve also had to learn to cook using chilies, or chili peppers.  The Indian foods use different flours, like besan (chickpea) and a lot of pastes, so you make (or buy) ginger paste, garlic paste, or puree onions and spinach into pastes to thicken sauces.  That part interests me, since I am a gravy freak.  Oh!  To think I can have gravy!  I’m excited! 

 I am also learning how each spice tastes, alone and in combination with each other.  It’s weird not being able to know right offhand, like I do with garlic, cumin, basil, oregano, tarragon: my staples.  My remedy is to continue dining at the Indian buffet on a regular basis and question the server about the dishes I like.  Then go home and go onto to www.google.com and search the name of the dish and find the recipe.

 Then I got in a chile pepper stage and tried cooking with different chiles.  I first tried the tiny hot Thai peppers and found they were “burn my face off” hot.  A little goes a long way with me, so a few slivers in a stirfry or soup was my limit.  Next I tried the larger, sweeter varieties: Poblanos, Hungarian wax, Anaheims and Cubanelles.  These went well with the Indian curries and also led me into the arena of Mexican recipes.  I like any kind of latino food, but I prefer the lighter versions with very little fat or cheese. 

 My first Poblano recipe was a casserole version of chiles rellenos, which sounded good… on paper.  In reality, it was an underspiced dish of peppers stuffed with heavy ricotta and chedder, nestled into a quiche type mixture and overcooked.  My kind, patient Carl pretended it was edible (bless his heart).  I pondered what to stuff the peppers with next, and tried 2 different ways I’ll share with you here:

No. 1:  I defrosted a dozen shrimp and sauteed them with leftover rice, an onion, a cup of chopped fresh basil and 2 tbsp chopped garlic.  Also some salt and pepper, 2 tsp lime juice, and 4 tbsp light cream cheese.  This is what I stuffed 2 fat peppers with.  I wanted to top it with a green chile enchilada sauce, but did not have a can of the El Paso brand here.  BUT I had a can of green chiles, so I found a recipe online and made a green chile sauce: cook an onion with garlic and cumin, add equal parts of canned, chopped green chiles and chicken broth, cook down about 20 minutes.  I topped the stuffed peppers and put them in the oven at 350 for 30 minutes.
 
 No. 2:  The second thing I did was take 2 Poblano peppers and cut them into long 1” strips and boiled them for 3 minutes to soften them.  I put some of the green chile sauce in the bottom of a baking dish.  Then I took some corn tortillas and softened them in the microwave for 30 seconds.  Inside each one, I put a strip of chile and some of the rice shrimp basil mixture from No. 1 above, and then rolled it up and lined the bottom of the pan with them.  On top I put the remaining green chile strips, then the remaining chile sauce, then a layer of shredded cheese on top, then baked at 350 for 40 minutes. 
 
 I ate some of each and they were all flavorful.  I’d add a few slivers of a hotter pepper inside the rice mixture if I make them again.  The shrimp and chile was a good combination, and the lime juice and basil made a big difference in giving high flavor. 

 With the new cooking regimen, I’m often asked what do I have in my pantry and fridge right now?  Let’s see, I have Thai eggplants and bok choy, I have fresh mushrooms, onions, basil and bean sprouts, potatoes white and sweet, onions, red and Vidalia, carrots, celery, scallions, cherry tomatoes, eggs, feta, tahini, garlic paste, ginger paste, fresh ginger, chopped garlic, garlic chili sauce, fish sauce, corn tortillas, Bragg’s Liquid Aminos, a jar of Peanut Wonder, mango jam, soy milk and Earth Balance vegan spread, which I do finally prefer over butter.  In the pantry I have linguine pasta, Raisin Bran, tom yum paste, some canned curry sauces, Campbell’s Chicken Noodle soup and Italian Wedding soup.  I have Irish oatmeal, Scottish oatmeal, rice noodles, egg noodles, a variety of the Lundberg Farms rice blends, canned tomatoes, canned green chiles, canned chipotle in adobo sauce for when I’m feeling brave, and a selection of canned and dry beans: black, pinto, navy, garbanzo, split pea.  In the freezer, besides my secret stash of breads, I might have salmon or tilapia and white shrimp, lemongrass, gangalal and keffir lime leaves for my beloved tom yum soup.  Most days I keep it simple and breakfast might be a cup of chicken noodle soup with a teaspoon of tom yum paste and some beansprouts and fresh basil leaves in it.

 Cooking alone is always soothing for me. Since my mom passed in 1996 and my dad in 1987, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I typically spend alone quietly doing things at home.   Cooking reminds me of doing kitchen seva at the ashram.  I’ve discovered that I cook when I grieve.  My dad did that also.  As I look back. I remember making hundreds of sourdough hard rolls in 1976 when my brother Bobby committed suicide.  I kept everyone supplied with hard rolls for months.  If I made hundreds of them, Daddy made thousands. I have a photo somewhere of him in the kitchen behind giant stainless steel bowls full of rolls.  When my second husband died, it was hundreds of crepes; when mom died it was, oh right that was the year I ate everything and gained 40 pounds.  Smile.  When my dad died, I changed the routine and fasted for a week.

 Speaking of Daddy, Happy Father’s Day.  I didn’t always get along with my dad as I was growing up.  My brothers and I were typical ungrateful kids who didn’t realize how hard our parents worked for us, or how much of their own lives they sacrificed to provide for us.  My dad could be verbally abusive, although no worse than most.  I see that now.  At the time, however, I thought I hated him for being so mean and restrictive.  He never smacked me unless I was really disrespecting and backtalking him and egging him on.  I searched my journal and found an entry from 1985, after I’d grown up a little bit, and gotten over myself: 

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.  You were unfair when I as a child, yet through my childlike eyes I judged you for it and saw not that you, too, were merely a victim and in your ignorance knew no other way to treat me.  Now that we’re both older and wiser, we don’t have those problems, or at least the confrontations no longer take place.  Perhaps you are cowed at my own empowerment, or maybe I’m just a more formidable foe now.  A man who mistreats a child is not to be hated, rather we should extend compassion for his lack of control.  So now we silently sit together five times a year, the Hallmark card placed like a holy icon between us, hoping to heal the past without mentioning it.  I accept your unspoken apology as I see how frail you’ve become.  Not so much in body, but in spirit.  Beaten down from your own abuses coming back to haunt you, I needn’t add to the burden, nor can I voice my forgiveness.  You understand.  We understand each other now and that’s enough.  And today, finally, I love you very much.
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 Daddy was an interesting character.  In the February 2003 Horizons Magazine, I wrote that my elder brother Jerry had contacted me via email after 37 years. This was a surprise to me, considering that Daddy told me in the late 60s that Jerry had died in Vietnam. They’d had a falling out and apparently Jerry, age 18, was deemed the black sheep and got banished.  In the meantime, he’s been raising his own family and having his own father/son experiences, which I am sure are a trip.  Happy Father’s Day, Bratly Brother!  I’m glad we’re back in contact. We joke that we’re really twins since we are so much alike, despite having been separated for almost 40 years.  We both have studied various spiritual paths, both studied hypnosis and NLP, read many of the same authors, enjoy many of the same ideas and opinions.  We play psychic games and test each other, he’s very psychic as well, which can be aggravating when I want to be secretive.  He’s the best brother a girl could have.

 Well, except perhaps, for my new Brother MFC-665CW all in one printer.  It combines a color copier, color printer, color fax, and scanner.  It literally replaces 5 machines I had in my office.   I love it when I can streamline and have more space to move around in.  The older I get, the more empty space I like having around; and the more I want to look across a room and see a big, open expanse.  I used to cram so much furniture into my rooms.  When I was younger, it seems I needed to have all my stuff with me where I could see it.  Couches, tables, chairs, lamps, pillows, rugs, wall hangings.  Now I like keeping it open and uncluttered, it suits my lifestyle more now.  In the past, I felt safe and secure with all my familiar ‘stuff’ around me.  As I get older, I’m delighted to find I don’t need those things.  That while providing me with a sense of security, they were also walling me up in a small, tight place that was very restrictive.  I like my physical environment the same as I like my spiritual environment – free and open, unlimited and welcoming.

No longer for me the strict dogma of traditional religions, although I recognize their place in our world.  A few days before I wrote this, Jerry Falwell died.   Falwell was notable for his intolerance and narrow religious and political viewpoint, often publicly bashing minorities as ‘the antiChrist”, and blaming gays for attracting the Sept 11 event.  I admire his dedication to his beliefs, however misplaced.  I had a dream the night after he passed, and in it Falwell was trapped and I was part of a team sent to help him transition to the proper locale.  When I “saw” him, he was wrapped in a giant ball of what appeared to be giant rubber bands.  A few of us moved in to begin unwrapping the bands, and he was adamant to leave them alone.  It seemed he thought the bands were what was holding ‘him’ together.  I had the feeling we were surrounded by many, many others, yet they were not ‘allowed’ to come down and ‘help’ us.  It was frustrating to some of the helpers, and one by one they dropped away.  As did I, eventually.  Not a good vibrational match, I guess.

It was clear to me that Falwell was trapped in a hell of his own making, and aren’t we all??  We don’t always know exactly what we’re signing up for, especially if we don’t see the big picture, and if we don’t give thought to decisions before consequences emerge. 

Remember the old question: If someone offered you a million dollars to push a button which would kill someone else, and no one would know you did it,  would you do it? 

Would you still do it if you knew by doing so, that would add your name to the list of those willing to play that game, which means you might be the next one to be destroyed by someone else upon their decision to choose the million dollars. 

What games are you signed up for?  Do any of these sound familiar?

The Game of Lying
Your entry into this game is by telling small fibs, exaggerating, distorting and/or censoring, and telling outright lies to anyone for any reason.  Once you’ve joined this game, you can expect to attract fibs, lies, exaggerations, distortion and censorship at any time, from any one. 

The Game of Gossip
Your entry into this game is by talking about anyone not present in a way that diminishes them to the listener.  Once you’ve joined this game, you can expect to attract others talking about you and holding unfair opinions about your character.  This also includes the fibs, lies, exaggerations, and distortion mentioned in the Game of Lying above. 

The Game of Stealing
Your entry into this game is by taking that to which you are not rightfully entitled, and by negotiating unfairly with those whom you pay for goods or services.  You’re playing this game if you’re “borrowing” a book or cd from a friend, intending to not return it.  You’re playing this game if the waitress brings you change for a $20 bill rather than a $10, and you don’t point it out to her.  You’re playing this game when you bootleg a cd.  Once you’ve joined this game, expect to have things taken from you, expect to be denied access, expect to be taken advantage of.

The Game of Emotional Pain & Psychological Abuse
Your entry into this game is by purposely saying unkind and mean spirited words to someone.  Whether you think they deserve it or not.  You’re playing this game whenever you purposely, through your words or nonwords, your action or inaction, intend someone else emotional pain by those words and actions.  Once you’ve joined this game, expect to have those around you treat you in a way that makes you feel unloved and alienated.

The Game of Angry Reaction
Your entry into this game is by allowing yourself to automatically act and react in a way that is intolerant of those around you.  You’re playing this game when you don’t think before you speak.  You’re playing this game when you blame anyone for anything.  You’re playing this game when you’re impatient and snap at anyone.  Once you’ve joined this game, expect to run into a whole lot of grouchy folks who won’t take the time to understand you.

The Game of Unconditional Love
Your entry into this game is by purposely choosing to see past the faults of those around you.  You’re playing this game when you allow those around you, especially when they are not allowing you.  Once you’ve joined this game, expect a lot of worrisome situations to clear up, expect to draw niceness out of typically grumpy ones around you.

The Game of Getting Along and Being Supportive
Your entry into this game is by purposely deciding to have harmonious interaction with everyone you come across.    You’re playing this game when you tell others what you like and appreciate about them, and what they are doing right.  You’re playing this game when you point out what things you have in common.  Once you’ve joined this game, expect all of your relationships to become more smooth sailing.  Expect people to help you get what you want out of life.

How many games are there?  Email and let me know what games you can think of.  Also tell me how you enter the game, and how you know you’re playing it, and what you can expect to experience if you are in it.  I like this kind of game – the Let’s Discover Something New game.

One game I thoroughly enjoy is the Turn My Yard Into A Jungle game.  The oaks and tallow trees have decided that it is indeed Spring, so they are back in full leaf again.  The past several cold spells tricked them into shedding their leaves, so they’ve been very sparse until last month.  I do some deep watering at the root of the larger trees to encourage them to grow quickly to provide shade for the summer, and I water the yard in segments using 2 sprinklers, moving them every few hours.  I’ve been planting this week in the bare spot in my backyard which is overlooked by my back office window.  The neighbor just removed a gigantic Brazilian Peppertree stand that gave half a yard of privacy between our houses, and I originally planted a heavy stand of papyrus there that has now died away.   So I took some new cuttings from freshly pruned turk’s cap and arbicola, and planted it along the fenceline.  I am watering like crazy to let the arborvitae and 2 crepe myrtles there take off.  I also planted 2 dozen marigolds in a bed in front of the arbicola and turk’s cap cuttings, which are in front of the crepe myrtles.  It should be private again in no time.

So this month I’ve learned or been reminded of:

• My tastes, likes and dislikes change as I get older.
• I love finding new lowfat, high flavor foods.
• Cooking soothes me.
• My parents had a hard life and I could have been nicer.
• I like having a psychic twin for a brother
• I like feeling free and open and unlimited
• I need to choose wisely the games I  get involved in.

Enjoy our offering this month.  Life is good! 

Hari Om.